Here I am, once again, attempting to keep a blog. This is so shameful. At least I’m posting on a blog that I’ve already made, so I’m just continuing to post (like I’ve been on hiatus. For more than a year :/). Which is better than starting a completely new blog because I want to start fresh (that’s code for it’s been so long since I last posted that I forgot my password and the answers to the complicated series of questions required to make a new password.)
Ah well, let by gones be by gones and all that. This year, I plan (note: I’m saying I ‘plan’ instead of I ‘will’ because then it’s not definite and I won’t feel that bad when my ‘plan’ crashes and burns and I give up) to post something at least once a week. It feels weird to just send a post out there into the universe, so in order to make myself feel a little sane, I’ve decided that I need an imaginary person to whom I’ll ‘write to’ (I do see the irony in that). I haven’t decided what this imaginary person’s name will be or if they will be a male or female or anything else about them yet. But I will. Soon, hopefully. It’ll be a New Year’s resolution!
Here are my other New Year’s Resolutions. Which are basically my resolutions from every year, with added notes.
Get to that ideal weight – yeah, I know. It’s never going to happen. I love food too much and exercise is a word I don’t fully understand the meaning of. But it’s going to stay as the number one item on my list until I finally do something about it. Even if it’s just feel guilty.
Write more – so last year (and probably the years before also) I wanted to write a story/novel/book. I thought I’d be able to write something in no time as I had a basic structure planned out with a beginning, middle and end (primary school English right there); problems and solutions; and characters. I even wrote a few chapters. But let me tell you, it is freaking hard to write a story.
Every time I heard, read or saw something interesting/funny/witty, I had to add it into my story somehow. Don’t even get me started on the characters. I began to make up backgrounds for every person I interacted with, based on what they said to me. The girl who took my coffee order is working to pay for rent and tuition; the man on the bus dislikes his lawyer job and wants to start making and selling his own wine. I wanted to add these traits to my characters and soon I had pages and pages of notes about each character, their lives, the significance of their names, how they connected to each other etc. Needless to say, I’ve gotten nowhere. So this year, I hope to at least finish a draft. Fingers crossed.
Make a dent in my list of books to read – I am really good at adding titles to my list of books to read, but I am terrible at actually reading said books. I somehow always end up reading the same books over and over. I think it’s partially because I really just love those books that I read again and again, and partially because of the fear of possibly not liking a new book. Especially if the book was recommended by someone (so obviously they must have really liked it and what if I don’t like it as much as they did and they end up hating me?) or got really good reviews (so a lot of people like it, therefore it should be a good book, but what if I don’t like it and does that mean I’m weird?) Maybe I should add ‘stop being such a wuss’ to my resolutions. Seriously? I was fearless when it came to reading a new book. I didn’t care if no one else liked it or it got bad reviews. I was eager to find out what the book was about and make up my own mind.
I should join a book club. Ugh, but I don’t like people. Ok, that’s not fair. I like some people; I’m just not very good in social situations. Aha, I should start a book club. With people I know and like and therefore will be able to avoid social anxiety. I’m so smart.
Get organized – this doesn’t mean organizing my iTunes list or putting my books into alphabetical order by the author’s surname. This means keeping my desk (and drawers), closet, room, and bookshelf neat and tidy so when I’m looking for something, I’ll be able to locate it quickly without turning my room back into a pigsty..which seems to be the default mode. I spend hours tidying my closet and drawers but they always, ALWAYS end up in a miserable mess. Maybe I’m not tidying properly.
This year, I have to make a proper effort to get (and STAY) organized. Oh, I think I can put this with the whole get organized thing: put those damn lanterns/posters/photos up. And curtains. I’ve been wanting to redo my room since I got it painted in March, but I’ve been too lazy to actually do anything about it. But a new year makes me want to be…less lazy, so I went and got the curtain rods today and bought some fabric yesterday, but I have yet to sew and hang up the curtains. It looks easy enough…not really. I’m so scared of cutting the fabric into the four pieces I’ll need. The lady at the shop wouldn’t cut the drops for me because of…rules or something. Stupid lady. But whatever. It’s a new year, maybe I’ll discover some new abilities I possess. Like a superhero.
I can’t believe I compared discovering that I can (maybe) sew curtains to being a superhero. I think it’s time to wrap it up.